“Do you believe that when other people “get” there will not be enough for you?”
That was the question I asked my client.
She affirmed, that, yes, this is what she believed. She honestly thought that another person’s gain meant that there wouldn’t be enough for her. The things she really wanted always seemed to go to someone else.
Where do these kinds of thoughts come from?
I understand there are places where scarcity is the norm and that even a single meal a day is hard to come by. There could be circumstances where items being divided leave a person on the small end, of say an inheritance. Neglect and other abusive situations might lead to feelings of deprivation, but generally there is an abundance in the world you and I encounter on a daily basis.
One person’s success does not limit our ability to be equally or even more successful.
Even if we are building a similar career or presenting a like product as that of our peer, their success does not mean we will fail. In fact, if we learn from what they have already created, there is a possibility that we could go well beyond what they have done.
It is relatively easy to begin to envy or resent another person’s work or success, isn’t it? Have you ever thought about what the thought behind those kinds of thoughts are? Yes, I am telling you that you have thoughts behind your thoughts, or more accurately, perhaps, there are beliefs behind your thoughts.
We want something because of the way we think it will make us feel, not the way we actually feel when we have it.
I believe there are at least a couple of things at play with this mindset.
So, before you decide there isn’t enough for you, take some time to look inside that brain of yours. What has it been telling you?
Let’s start with the idea of success. How do you define it? What does it look like to you? and for you? Does it look like what the person you envy has? What if you didn’t look at “them” while defining it for yourself? Does that paint a completely different picture?
The second biggie I think is happening is that somewhere along the line we have decided to believe the lie that we aren’t enough and never will be. So, no matter how “successful” we are it will never, ever be good enough, because WE aren’t enough. It becomes easy then to fall into “there just isn’t enough”.
So how do we overcome this kind of thinking?
First, define “success” for you, not according to someone else.
Look inside your thoughts and see if YOU are telling yourself that you are not enough.
Turn those thoughts of scarcity around to thoughts of abundance.
No clue how to do that?
Then I leave you with the following exercise as “food for thought” and a way to start living Your One Beautiful Life.
Make a list of at least 25 things that you want. Seriously, go ahead and dream, but here is the caveat. Include on that list 8 – 10 things that you want that you already have. For example, is a dependable car important to you? Do you already have one? Put it on the list. Are meaningful relationships important to you? Do you have even one of those? Put it on the list. Do you want time out in nature, enjoying creation, and you have that, even if it means taking walks in your neighborhood? Put it on your list. Then keep going…
If you want to see an abundance in life, it helps to realize you already have some of the very things that you desire.
So, you actually can have what you want. There is enough for you, no matter what anyone else has.
The next step is to look at that list again and make a plan (6 months, 1 year, 5 years, etc.) of how to get there. Coaching may be part of that plan, but well worth it as you are on your way to taking hold of Your One Beautiful Life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You have been thinking the same thoughts for a very long time and they are what is holding you back, not the “success” of other people.