“Too many women chase security or obligation until their soul starts screaming at them to change. We each have a gift and a chance to focus on the field or the ideas that make us want to get up in the morning and to begin every day with joy and an agenda.” ~ Gail McMeekin
It was as if the words leapt off the page at me!
Gail McMeekin was speaking my language LOUD and clear! She had nailed me in a really good way. I was undone, unwound, with no desire to be wound up the same way again.
I have a strong sense of responsibility. If I am asked to do something and I agree then it will get done. There is nothing wrong with keeping your word and integrity is the best of qualities, but my “responsibilities” led to a life of self-imposed obligation and duty. If I saw something that needed to be done and no one was doing it I would grab the lose ends and tie them all up. This was my method in my private and my work world. Eventually I had no boundaries for my own well being. The schedules and perceived needs of others superseded my own and the songwriter, the musician and all the other creative parts of me that brought me joy and renewed me were getting shelved and almost forgotten. My relationships began to suffer because there was simply no energy to maintain them. I was exhausted and with every sunrise came the desire to throw the covers over my head and stay in bed.
Most days I found myself frustrated, unsatisfied and even sad because while I was doing good things and helping others, I had lost myself somehow. I’d look in the mirror and wonder who that lady was looking back at me. Occasionally she would surface and I would get a glimpse of her again. My husband pointed out to me one day that simply playing the piano for a few minutes made me more cheerful. A good friend listened as I shared some of my songwriting endeavors. She looked straight in my eyes and ask, “Do you know how you light up when you talk about songwriting?” Could everyone see it but me?In the middle of this time I heard a conference speaker ask the words,
“What are you going to do with your one beautiful life?”
That question contained so much possibility! I had just one lifetime to live and with that I had the choice to live it out beautifully or to live a cheaper, more shallow version of that same life. I didn’t know how my beautiful life would unfold in that moment, but I did know it was time to turn toward it.
Gail McMeekin, executive, career and creativity coach, is spot on in her comment from her book The 12 Secrets of Highly Successful Women. Perhaps, like me, you chase obligation and duty. Or is it security you run after? We are losing ourselves in the process. Something inside of us is screaming for change. It is calling out for us to claim and live our one beautiful life, the life “that makes us want to get up in the morning and begin everyday with joy and an agenda”…to make this day and every day beautiful.